All I know is, I like my bush. There, I said it. My bush is mighty—a wild, curly brown force of nature.
I have heard all the arguments the pro-shaving community has to offer, and I remain un-swayed. The last time I checked I was a grown-ass woman and proud to be so. Why would I go through the absolute fucking hassle it is to maintain any kind of semblance of pubic smoothness so I can look like I have the ‘gina of a 12 year old girl?
In my humble opinion the most valid reason for going bush-less is for the benefit of a sexual partner. But guess who doesn’t have one of those? This girl. My bush is mine alone, to do with as I please. And I please to let it sing with all the voices of the mountain (though I draw the line at letting it paint with all the colors of the wind).
Maintaining a full, glorious ladybush is like having a pet. Sure, you’ve got to give it it’s independence, let it be free to do its own thing. But with great bush comes great responsibility. You’ve got to show your bush some love. Keep it clean, treat it to the occasional deep-conditioning treatment. And, for god’s sake, pet it every once in a while! It won’t bite. If you feel like your bush is getting a little too out of control, don’t be afraid to get out the clippers and set some boundries. Cultivating a relationship with your bush can be a liberating experience.
My thing is this: I feel like my ladyfro is there to keep my ‘gina safe—a cushiony CareBear cloud of love to protect my most precious of ladyplaces. The least I could do is make friends with it.
I realize I am in the minority on this one. Completely shaving or leaving some kind of patch seems to be all the rage in pube couture. And though that’s not my particular bag, far be it for me to make judgements about another woman’s pubestyle choices.
That said...I am totally creeped out by “landing strip” pubes. The landing strip is the child-molester mustache of pubic hair. Ladies, if we are going to shave off our luscious, god-given ladyfros, let us at the very least do it with some fucking style.
You know what our vagina’s really need? Two words. Handlebar. Pubestach.
Seriously.
A vulva with a handlebar pubestache is surely a cunt to be reckoned with. Seasoned and wise. Rugged but keepin’ it just this side of classy. A real badass. Personally, I’d give up my glorious bush for nothing less.
So, join me, ladies! Let’s do something nice for our pussies. Let’s get the Handlebar Pubestache Revolution started!