Recently, I've expanded my knowledge a little further on the subject of sex. In the past I've read some erotic fiction and many books with tips on how to be a better lover, but there is one area in which my reading was strangely lacking. Despite all the media attention that has surrounded many sex bloggers and their book deals in recent years, I have largely steered clear of tales of real people's sex lives.
Now, finally, I've popped my 'confession' book cherry and have finished both Girl With a One Track Mind and the follow up, Girl With a One Track Mind: Exposed. It's been quite a journey, I can tell you.
The thing that struck me most about Abby Lee's first book was that she really is a girl with a one track mind. I realise that sounds dumb, but it's not just a throwaway remark or a catchy title; she really does think about sex a hell of a lot more than most women I know. And I know a fair few with rather high sex drives!
This made it a bit trickier for me to get into the book than I would have thought, because a world where a woman simply has to masturbate in order to concentrate on everyday life is rather alien to me. However, the blog format, interspersed with little "Girl's Guide" pages on anything from date speak to fuck buddies, is ultimately what makes it so readable so I did eventually manage to immerse myself in the first book.
Surprisingly, I was often quite shocked by it. Not at the explicit detail she goes into when describing some encounters, but by just how vanilla someone so seemingly open-minded could be at times. I mean, how can you get invited to a nudist swingers spa and then not even have a wank when you're there because it would be too weird? Another thing that puzzled me was her blossoming Sapphic side. If there was no artistic licence used in the parts where she flirts with women in bars, then I really need to know where this woman goes to drink!
Even when it wasn't vanilla, her writing still managed to astound me in places. The first real mention of kinky action was when she sits in on a friend's session with a paying client – yes, she apparently has a friend who is a dominatrix – and this friend introduces her to BDSM in a way that most self-defining perverts I know would wince at even now. If this was all real, Abby was having a hard time convincing me.
Still, although her obsession with orgasms, cock and utterly exhausting sex was sometimes tricky to relate to, the passages where she reveals her emotional side were what intrigued me enough to read the second book. After all, this is a woman who has an amazing appetite for sex which she has described in great detail in her anonymous writing and, as I'm sure you all know by now, was outed by a national newspaper. Of course I was curious as to how this had affected her.
Frustratingly, it took until halfway through Girl With a One Track Mind: Exposed before that call from the Sunday Times came and Abby was, quite viciously, revealed to the world to be Zoe Margolis but, by that point in the book, I was completely and utterly on her side.
Why? Because I discovered that she, like me, was left cold by the Rampant Rabbit vibrator. Because she pointed out to a guy who grimaced at the mention of blood that maybe his girlfriend might really want sex while on her period, so perhaps he should actually ask her. OK, so sometimes she generalises about what women want, but at least she realises that and later admits to it. The more I read, the more I liked her.
The second book is a tad confusing because some of the entries are clearly from her anonymous blog, while others appear to have come from a more personal diary, but overall I found it easier to read. Through this combination of public and private writing, I got to know Abby Lee better and I also got enough of a glimpse of the woman behind her to really care when the shit hit the fan and her life fell apart.
It's a lesson in anonymity, a lesson in letting emotions out, and also a lesson in keeping secrets. You'll learn that strangers can be tossers and that friends and family can often be far more supportive than you ever hoped they could be. You'll learn that confidence can be taken away in an instant and that regaining control of your own life is hard.
I hope that Zoe Margolis' life has improved considerably since the events she describes at the end of her second book, and I really do hope that she can find inspiration for a third. If someone like me can learn a thing or two about sex from what was essentially her diary, then I'm sure she could write a book of sex advice. Successful though that would be, to be honest I think I'd miss the emotional stuff a bit too much.