For one reason and another, I’ve been thinking a lot about underwear lately. I wonder if this is because we’re finally all realising, myself included, that the main beneficiaries of sexy undies are in fact women.
People used to think that pretty underwear was designed by men for men - despite the fact that your sexual partner may not actually be a man - but in recent years it has become even more apparent that lingerie is designed mainly for the wearer rather than the viewer. The blurb on the website may claim that those panties will “get his pulse racing”, but don’t you really just want them for yourself? For how they make you feel?
Despite our best efforts, girls really do need a confidence boost when it comes to sex and looking good when you’re almost naked is a great start. In general, men want sex rather a lot whereas women want sex occasionally, perhaps, maybe… well, when they feel ‘in the mood’.
Whatever the gender of the object of their desires, if women think they look good, they will feel good which gives them confidence. Once you have some self-confidence, feeling sexy soon follows. Easier said than done, I know, but confidence really can be learned.
I don’t think underwear should be promoted by mentioning the effect it might have on other people. If you’re buying pretty lingerie for someone else and expecting them to like it, what happens when you find out that your partner doesn’t actually like black satin? You both feel disappointed and the mood is ruined.
If you feel sexy and confident in what you’re wearing, the only thing on both your minds will be the sex. In her book for women entitled How to be a Great Lover, sex educator Lou Paget wisely says that, “what ultimately matters most is how you feel about yourself. It is only appropriate to dress or act in a certain way to please your man when it’s your choice – and if, in so doing, you derive at least as much pleasure for yourself.”
If you’re happy and comfortable in what you’re wearing, you’ll exude confidence and that is supremely sexy. From the stylish Agent Provocateur Classics and the vintage-inspired lingerie at What Katie Did, through to the cute ‘n’ cheeky lingerie collections at Ann Summers, it has never been so easy to get your hands on really exciting undergarments. Of course, you may not be comfortable in that sort of thing, so don’t forget that confidence can also be found in wearing cute but cozy La Senza nightwear.
Forget worrying about how you look and focus on how you feel instead. Remember: no one can use Photoshop on a person in real life, so we’re all in the same boat. Spend a bit of time looking at yourself in the mirror, posing like a model in your fab new undies and realising just how great you really are. Of course, you read BitchBuzz so I don’t need to tell you that really, do I?
image via Emery Co Photo