There are many myths about bisexual folk. Some claim they don’t exist and are simply people who have yet to “pick a side”. Bisexuals are often told “it’s just a phase” and are regarded with suspicion as sexual partners can suspect they’ll be unfaithful. Another, perhaps even more frustrating myth, is that men can’t be bi.
Quite what makes the people who spread these rumours believe them is anyone’s guess. What makes a person think that they have the right to tell someone else who they’re allowed to be attracted to? More worryingly, what makes it fine for a woman to come out as bi while men are shunned and ridiculed? Don’t believe me? Check out some of the shameful tweets picked up by Bi Visibility on Twitter.
Many men get told they’re actually gay but can’t admit it, or are even told they’re freaks. This would be bad enough coming from a stranger, but hearing that sort of language come out of the mouth of a friend or someone you love must be an extremely painful experience. No wonder men often stay firmly in the bisexual closet!
If a man you know tells you he’s bisexual, what should you do? Well, first of all you should be proud of him for realising and admitting it, but you should also be aware of the trust that he’s putting in you by telling you this. Not everyone treats bisexuals with respect, so the fact that you have been trusted with this information means that you are considered worthy. How fantastic is that?
If it’s your husband, boyfriend or a potential date that has come out to you, first things first: he is not going to leave you just because he is bi. Make sure you listen to him and ask any questions you have in a calm way. Making accusations or getting upset before you know all the facts isn’t going to help anyone.
Just because your monogamous partner is attracted to other men doesn’t mean he is attracted to you less or is going to run off with the first cute guy he sees. I’m sure a few hours spent boy-watching together over a few coffees in town could prove to be quite a bonding experience.
However, girls may have an issue with this because it might feel weird as bi guys don’t exactly behave like your female BFF. Mind you, gay men aren’t all like that either, despite what movies lead you to believe. Stop putting people into boxes according to how you think they should act and just treat them like… well, people.
Marcus Morgan, writing in The Guardian, said that “anyone who is attracted to more than one gender should consider identifying as bi. It's not about amount of attraction either, just as simply preferring lettuce to liver doesn't make you a vegan.” Yes, it’s that simple. What is so scary about a guy who fancies girls and other guys? Bisexual men can be just as loving, caring, honest and faithful as their heterosexual counterparts.
For a fantastically useful source of information all things bi, I suggest you check out the FAQ on the Bisexual Index’s website. It is extremely informative and may be of help to you or someone you know. Remember, keep an open mind.
Image via nerdcoregirl's Flickr