Fetish, kink, toys, role play, lingerie, shoes, stockings, dirty talk, leather, voyeurism, public displays of sexuality - whatever rocks your boat and gets you off - is awesome.
This past weekend, the world-infamous Folsom Street Fair - “the grandaddy of all leather events” - celebrated it’s 25th anniversary. I have traveled to San Francisco to visit my friend Duncan & to experience the debauchery first hand. There’s something important to me about being out in the California sun watching thousands of people getting off..
It’s awesome.
Coincidentally, there have been some getting off issues on my mind and in the news lately.
First the positive - I just dropped $200 on a Lelo vibrator. Ladies, just like size really does matter, amount of cash ponied up for your personal satisfaction matters as well. This very expensive toy has eight speeds and four different vibrations, it’s battery free, cord free, rechargeable, comes with a discreet satin pouch to store it in and has a one year warranty. Meaning if I break it, the company will replace it for me.
Let me say: this vibrator equals awesome.
Moving on to the sad and strange: Last week a 35 year old Illinois woman suffered a stroke brought on by having an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Apparently, she had a very rare heart defect which allows blood to flow from the right side of the heart to the left, not passing go through the lungs and going directly to the brain. It is called patent foramen ovale (PFO) and 40% of people who have it don’t know they do. There are six documented cases of this causing stroke during sexual intercourse. This is due to the strain which occurs during orgasm.
Thankfully, WebMD reports that doctors performed a risky surgical procedure to alleviate the clot in her brain and she is recovering very well.
Though, I suppose that if I had to go this early in life, I’d want to go in the middle of orgasmic bliss. (Knock wood that doesn’t happen.)
Lastly, the judgmental and infuriating. The NY Post reported last week that vice cops busted a TriBeCa S&M club, alleging that the pro-dommes at the club were offering intercourse for a nominal charge following the SM session.
What pisses me off about this is twofold.
One: from reading the article, it seems like this raid was entrapment. The attorney for the arrested domme and owner of the five year old parlor states that the cops were on a witch hunt and that there was no interaction or consent for sex to occur between the dominatrix and the undercover officer; and, that there are signs clearly posted through out the establishment stating that sexual intercourse is not available. Further, the other occupants of the building were aware of the nature of the parlor, had no complaints - so why were the cops investigating?
Two: In the course of the article a former neighbor of the Collin Reeve, a Ms. Marie Santiago of Staten Island called, Reeve the owner of the raided parlor a “freak” and said the following, “When they left, we found out they were total freaks. We found videos of him and people playing with people dressed up as dinosaurs.”
This - my friends - is infuriating. Again, whatever gets you off is awesome; and, the judgement placed on individuals who enjoy alternative sexual acts such as SM and role play and other forms of kink is just... wrong.
The thing is, most individuals who explore their sexuality and are comfortable enough to safely and legally indulge in the sex acts that get them off are, undoubtedly, healthier and happier than the assholes who are judging them by assigning labels like “freak” to them.
That and who the hell cares what goes on behind closed doors? Really, other than it being sensationalistic to report on - who’s business is it if you like to dress up in leather and get whipped by a woman in five inch heels?
See this is where San Francisco has it all right - they embrace their sexual diversity and encourage people to be healthy and happy. Some BS entrapment, judgmental crap like this would never fly here... or, so I hope.