I just got back from spending four days in Paris. I love Paris – it’s a beautiful city. Also – top travel tip for when to go - the bi-annual Salon Des Vins Des Vignerons Independants is not to be missed. Over 800 of France’s best independent winemakers and unlimited wine tasting for €3 per person! Needless to say, I’ll be going back in March.
My travel companion is currently at home preparing homecoming Bastille night for herself and her honey – she plans to wear French lingerie; they will drink of the wine and eat of the cheese; and then he’s going to storm her tower!
Unfortunately, I’m at work so all I can do is muse on the cultural differences I noticed while I was away.
This is a little observation from Saturday night. Following dinner, we selected a bar on Saint Germain and headed inside. As we stood at the bar, I noticed a rather dashing young gentleman staring at me from across the room. And I mean STARING. You know the expression “undressing me with your eyes”? Taken literally, this guy would have had me butt naked, hog tied and half way to happy within the first three seconds of this kind of staring!
Needless to say, being a forward sort of girl (my Grandmother is so proud!!), I returned the stare, internally wondering how good his English was and if my travel companion would mind going to a hotel for the night. Additionally, I may have, possibly, just maybe – I did – flipped my hair Charlie’s Angels style in his direction and smiled (*hangs head in shame*).
Anyway, I glanced away so as to maintain an air of aloofness (fail!) and when I glanced back he was doing the same thing to the next girl who had walked into the bar. Assuming I’d mis-read the situation – or that he was your garden variety sex pest – I ordered my wine and sat. And then there was another one! Different guy – same blatant staring. And another.
Now I’m not bad looking – but I’m not that hot. Not every guy on every street and major road traffic accident causing hot. Instead, I have concluded the following – they’re just more obvious about it in France! You see it, you like it, you give the eye. It’s brilliant. For one thing its very refreshing – I am so fed up with guys playing it cool – it makes it so much harder to make sure you’ve got the signals right. How many times have you been there – a guy gives you a subtle wink so you go over and it turns out he just had something in his eye?
Well, I have and it’s very embarrassing. Not blushing embarrassing – moving to somewhere where it will never be spoken of again embarrassing. This is a way of avoiding that. I also noticed that the girls do it too. There were very few coy glances and hair flips going on there. Instead it was more of the blatant staring back and again I found it really refreshing.
I know it’s nothing groundbreaking to assert that Europeans are more sexually liberated than Brits and Americans. It’s been said by many people before me and I don’t necessarily think its that cut and dried – I have known some massively uptight Europeans and some British chicks who were just down right ho’s. But based on my observations from this weekend, (which go beyond having that one guy stare at me in a bar) they may be onto something over there.
Not everyone is going to be that obvious with their staring; not everyone is picturing you naked; not everyone wants to get into your pants. But the ones that are and that do, feel comfortable enough letting you know about it in a public place and they will.
There is obviously a fine line between this kind of liberated sexual attitude and those creepy guys that stand on street corners when you’re holiday and try to get you to come into their bar with choruses of “Hey sexy lady!!” – Hell, they have those in Soho and Brick Lane nowadays! - but if one is an extension of the other, then I’ll happily deflect the odd creepy comment to get, in exchange, a culture where people are just that little bit more honest about what they’re thinking.
Image via Sjerk Clara