Sexual Modesty and The New Puritans

By K. A. Laity

I was amused to read Alan Bissett's blog in the Guardian this week arguing that "Literature is due a new era of sexual modesty." It seems an odd pronouncement from a guy with a new book out on sexual addiction, but there seems to be a bit of this about.

It's not the least bit coincidental that this call comes from a male writer. While trumpeting the new frankness of sexual writing that calls body parts by their common names, i.e. the ones we all know rather than the ones the doctors use, he signals a desire to step back from this frankness. " Ironically, it is British men (and I'd have to include myself in this) who have been been more uptight about it all." He details a number of books (preseumably his own included) that portray men as sad, deluded victims of their own libidos, like Welsh's Porno and Stretch's Friction.

Apparently men are so terrified of being seen as sexist or misogynist, Bissett claims, that they shy away from portraying sex with gusto, leaving it to the women. Of course the woman on most people's mind when it comes to frank portrayals of sex is Charlotte Roche and her novel Wetland. Many reviewers -- male and female -- were appalled that a woman could be so crude. Most of us women know better. Women have been forced into an intimate relation with blood, shit and other fluids for so much of our history, we're not easily shocked.

It's just the picture men like to have of us delicate creatures.

So while Bissett posits a desire to return to a new coyness, it's clear that most women want no such thing. While there's a cadre of women who still want the patented Mills & Boon/Harlequin "Happily Ever After"/"no sex please, we're prudes" narratives, more and more women want real sex, glorious sex and sure, often romantic sex that may not provide a HEA ending so much as a Happy For Now one.

As a recent Publishers Weekly article pointed out, not only is sex selling in this very dicey market, but in particular paranormal erotics and erotic romance sell like hotcakes. Of course, this refers to the seemingly bottomless thirst for bloody vampires, but they are also werewolves and demons and various shapeshifters filling up the shelves that are sometimes labeled romance, sometimes horror and fantasy, and occasionally even plain old "fiction".

As Cate noted the other day, sistahs are doing just fine for themselves, embracing their sexuality and having a whole lot of fun (and success). Instead of giving it up for a pimp or a club owner, women are flaunting their sexuality and making a mint for themselves. They're not waiting for opinions from men and they're not the least bit concerned with getting approval from anyone -- not their mums or their boyfriends.

It figures, of course, that men would decide to start a new Puritan movement, but you can't put this genie back in the bottle, boys. Face it: you are going to have to learn to be better lovers. Trust me though: you'll thank us in the end. You didn't really want us to lie there and think of England, did you?

Image via Sunshine Coast B&B, Cottage Owners

POSTED IN: SEX
Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:22 (GMT+00)
5 Responses
1.

You didn't really want us to lie there and think of England, did you?

HA! Oh, classic. Love it. So my question is...really? A RETURN to Puritanism? Cause I was under the impression we'd barely broken free of it even in this enlightened day and age. Huh. No thank you. I definitely don't want to go back!

Isabel Roman
Thu, 27-Aug-2009 19:41 GMT
2.

Having read the blog, I have to say I'm not entirely sure that's what Bisset was getting at. The Guardian bloggers don't write their own headlines, you know: they're done by a subeditor trying to attract page clicks. Nowhere in the actual body of the blog does it make a case for any new Puritanism: he said 'coyness', which he described as sexy. That's hardly Puritanism.
I read it more as just a jadedness with a culture, and literature oversaturated with sex and porn, which you reeeeally can't deny. I didn't think he was being negative about women and gay men writing about sex, either, more envying an 'exultation' - that's a direct quote - that straight men don't get to have, poor beasties. I'm a woman who writes about sex, and I didn't feel he was trying to shut me up (I'd like to see him try); more just looking for less explict eroticism. Wetlands *did* take it too far, I think. So did Snuff. Not sexy.

Sarah McKechnie
Thu, 27-Aug-2009 20:21 GMT
3.

Beautiful post, Kate. And yeah, the capper line... hee hee... Perfection!

Dana/Inara
Fri, 28-Aug-2009 16:26 GMT
4.

"Wetlands *did* take it too far, I think. So did Snuff. Not sexy."

I don't think the intent there was to be sexy, though. Writing about sex needn't necessarily be sexy or have that intention. But I think there is a clear gender divide between how much is too much -- and our reactions to it. One might not enjoy a particular author's explicit writing, but male writers don't tend to get the finger shaking that female authors do.

And there has *always* been explicit writing -- from the ancient world onward -- what's changed is how available and how excoriating it is.

K. A. Laity
Fri, 28-Aug-2009 16:48 GMT
5.

Well stated!

Lisa Lane
Fri, 28-Aug-2009 17:22 GMT

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