According to Wikipedia, play “refers to a range of voluntary, intrinsically motivated activities that are normally associated with pleasure and enjoyment”. I used to think that play had to be put away with childish things once you reached the age of consent but, thankfully, that really isn’t the case.
As children, we all liked to play. Break times at school were called ‘play time’, bedrooms were filled with toys, friends were invited over after school to play and parties were a massive excuse to play and have fun. When you hit your teenage years, playing anything other than music seemed like the worst thing you could possibly do because you were trying to be ‘grown up’. What most of us failed to realise though is that adults play too… you just never got to hear about the really fun stuff!
Everyone reads about those people with train sets in the attic or world-record beating cuddly toy collections. We pretty much all have some form of games console and varying obsessions with an assortment of on-screen worlds. I even know a few live action role-players who like to spend their weekends in a field, in character, going on quests and drinking an awful lot of beer. Adults do play, but when we do the activities are usually derided by mainstream society and dismissed as a waste of time. Since when was fun ever a waste of time?
Still, if you are the sort of adult for whom these sorts of play are a little bit PG, where do you go for your fix of R18 fun? You’ve probably already stayed at home to open the toy box, indulge in some light bondage with scarves or maybe even a little role play, but what if you want to venture out of the house and meet new people with similar interests? What if you want to take things further; what then?
Quite simply, the internet is your oyster. There are plenty of websites where you can chat to like-minded people and then, perhaps, arrange to meet in person. There are also a whole host of clubs, parties and events where you can indulge your fantasies and, as long as you stick to a few common-sense rules, not get judged by anyone for doing it. For a while now London has played host to adult parties like Fever, Killing Kittens and Night of the Senses, but now there is a new group of exciting events that are open to more than just sex.
For those who like their fun to include some kink, art and whatever else takes their fancy let me tell you… you are not alone. After Pandora have been running private pervy arty parties for a couple of years, and now Kinky Salon are bringing a little bit of that San Francisco ‘anything goes’ vibe to London too.
It is a critical aspect of development in our early years, so why can’t play be an important part of our development as adults too? It can help you manage stress, reach important milestones in your personal development – socially, emotionally and morally – and also create and maintain relationships. Well, that’s what’s been said with regard to play for kids, but why can’t it be the same for those of us who are over the age of consent?
Come out and play! There’s an awful lot of fun to be had.
Image from Rachel Parry’s installation at Torture Garden, Feb 2009 © Lori Smith