Swingers have always had an image problem. When asked what they think of when the word ‘swinger’ is mentioned, for some reason a lot of people talk about of a bowl of car keys at a party. You know, where the random selection of a set of keys means that the person choosing gets to have sex with the owner of that car. Even if you really like sex and know an awful lot of attractive people, does that sound like a fun party to you?
Well, no, and it doesn’t sound like a fun party to most swingers either. Rather than selecting a ‘play partner’ at random, swingers choose who they want to get intimate with based on mutual attraction. Like any rational person might expect. Sadly, this is a concept that seems to escape most of the sorts of people who completely fail to understand why some people would enjoy recreational sex. OK, so it might not be for you, but how can you not understand? After all, sex is fun.
This week, The Metro introduced us to Ian and Jean Smith who are celebrating 30 years of "total and utter hedonism" by chatting to a newspaper about their somewhat unusual lifestyle. Good for them, I say, although I do wonder if their children feel the same way. Apparently they know but like to keep quiet about it… er, before it was mentioned in a national free paper, obviously!
The problem is that, although swingers come from many different walks of life and can be any age, gender or ethnicity, the ones that like to talk about it in public are rarely the type that would tempt the rest of the nation into stripping off and joining in. No offence to Ian and Jean but in today’s society where sexy equals ‘young with movie star looks’, no one less than Cheryl Cole or Johnny Depp is going to convince joe public that no-strings sex is a good idea.
Mind you, I doubt even that would work because with some people, there would always be strings. Even if a millionaire offered you a life-changing amount of money to spend a night with your partner, as in Indecent Proposal, how many people could treat it for exactly what it was? Sex and love aren’t the same thing. For some people they are more intertwined than with others, but one does not totally depend on the other.
That’s why people like Ian and Jean are so incredibly lucky. To have experience the love that they have for so many years, whilst also having that much fun with other people, is something very special indeed. It’s also a hell of a lot more exciting than spending your retirement years on the golf course!
Image via lrargerich's Flickr