Sex can be a risky business. If you're not careful you could end up bruised, sore, infected or even pregnant. Even if you don't mind or actually intend for some of those things to happen, I'm pretty sure no one wants to get an STI. If an exchange of bodily fluids is taking place, there is always a chance - however small - that you might catch something. So, how do we protect against this?
The first thing to realise here is that "safe sex" is not the same thing as "no fun". As I have mentioned on BitchBuzz before, in a different context, Health & Safety is not the enemy because it's a simple matter of risk management. If you are aware of the risks involved, you can make an assessment of how serious you think they are and take appropriate precautions.
So, it's not about saying no to things and always putting a barrier between your skin and that of others. It's about working out whether you really need to first. If you're in a monogamous relationship and have both have recently tested negative for STIs, then going au naturel is not an unreasonable thing to do. However, if you're diving into an unknown situation, perhaps a spot of sexy latex is a good idea.
If something's being inserted, it's usually a good idea to cover it. Condoms and gloves are not exactly difficult to get hold of. You can buy them on the high street, online in bulk, or get them free from clinics (in the UK). OK, so some acts may be rather more low risk than others, but sometimes it pays to be a little cautious. Do you ask people if they have any mouth ulcers before they go down on you? Many people take these things on trust, but there is always a line after which precautions are non-negotiable until you know your partner a whole lot better.
Without realising it, most of us are subconsciously assessing the risks when we first hook up with someone new. Not just the emotional risks either. Just remember that it's always better to start by taking lots of precautions and then scale it back if it seems appropriate as you get to know each other. Precautions are no good afterwards. That's why the word starts with 'pre', obviously! I know it's a cliché but it really is better to be safe than sorry.
Don't listen to anyone who whines that condoms aren't sexy. They're certainly sexier than some of the symptoms of STIs! If someone values their own pleasure above your health concerns, do you really want to be having sex with them? I hope not. After all, there are many brands of condom available now that are much thinner yet just as safe, so why not try them instead?
Life is full of risks that we assess and manage without even really thinking about it, but sex is an area that deserves a little bit more thought. With the right precautions, there's no end to the safe fun you can have. And, when it's safe fun, it means you'll continue to be healthy and available for more of the same.
Lori Smith is the BitchBuzz Sex & Relationships columnist. She also writes about sex, and various other things, on her blog. And over on Twitter too.
Image via Wikipedia