Why do some people think that being intensely sexually active is the only option for open-minded adults? If you haven't tried everything then they reckon you must be a prude. If you don't get down to business all the time, then they think there must be something wrong with you. Guess what... that's utter nonsense!
I was chatting with a group of friends recently and the conversation, inevitably, turned to sex. We are a group of five women with varied careers and interests, so our tastes are just as different when it comes to smut. Some are single, others are in long-term relationships. Some of us are monogamous, others are not. The one thing we have in common is... we don't judge.
The more outrageous members of our group may sometimes mention acts that others haven't heard of. It may be stuff that none of us have tried, but it's often the more promiscuous of us who have heard of these things. But, just because the other women might pretend that they're 'square' for not knowing/doing everything in the Kama Sutra, it doesn't mean we all believe it.
None of us judges the others for what they have or haven't done, for what they will or won't do, or with whom. Because we all know that there is more to life than sex, and how much of it you get should be of no more relevance to other people than how often you polish your shoes. Seriously, who cares?
It doesn't make us more efficient at work if we're a bit kinky in the bedroom. It doesn't make us more likely to be a crappy friend if we've slept with more people than we remember. We're not less fashionable if we still have our virginity, or less creative if we've not had sex in five years. Our sex lives bear no relation to the rest of our lives unless we say so. And by 'we', I mean you too.
In a world where a minor celebrity's comment that he hasn't had sex in 29 years results in newspapers wondering if he has psychological problems, I think it's time to take a step back and ponder the following: PERHAPS SEX ISN'T THE BE-ALL AND END-ALL OF LIFE?
Whether you don't want it ever, for a while or just not right now, that's fine. Just the same way it's fine to want some or lots of sex. If you're content with your choices, that's totally fine by me. If we could all just relax and stop judging each other for five minutes, the world would be a much happier place.
Lori Smith may be the BitchBuzz Sex & Relationships expert, but she's not 'at it' all the time. Sorry to disappoint you! She likes to have time for other stuff too... like blogging.
Image via practicalowl's Flickr photostream.