Everyone likes to try something new and, when it comes to sex, there is plenty of instruction on how to break out of your comfort zone and try new things. There are books, DVDs and even classes to help you add to your repertoire or see if something completely new is what you've always been searching for.
However, when it comes to kink, most of the mainstream offerings that claim to be an introduction only focus on one thing: spanking. You don't have to be a self-confessed pervert to know that far more things than a few wallops to the posterior are considered to be kinky! Wikipedia says that "kink sexual practices go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partner", which sounds fantastic... but where should a newbie look for proper instruction in this sort of thing?
You might not want to go to a store that sells paddles to learn how to spank someone because a) you want simply to learn rather than be sold stuff, and b) you figure there might be more to this kink lark than Rihanna singing about how much whips and chains excite her. Kink gives you new ways to play with a partner and encourages you to talk more about your desires and fantasies, but getting started can be hard. Finding someone who's been on the scene for years and is willing to instruct a newbie in any way other than hands-on can be quite a long arduous task, but now there is somewhere to go for a masterclass.
Sacred Pleasures is a sex-positive space for personal growth in London and they have set up a new introductory evening called Your Kinky Cherry. They offer a safe, friendly and fun environment for people to explore kink, no matter what their level of previous experience. Most people at this event will be new, though there might be some people who want to get 'back to basics' and refresh their knowledge and skills, so you'll be in good company. At Sacred Pleasures, kink is taught differently because it comes from the heart.
During the evening, workshop leader London Faerie will talk about his journey into BDSM and the ways in which it has changed his life. After demonstrating a short scene, Faerie will talk about how you might take your first steps into this exciting area of sexuality, and then there’ll be time at the end for questions. If you're a bit scared because it's your first time, there will even be a bit of tea and cake too!
If this sounds like something you might like to try but are wondering how to suggest the idea to your partner, London Faerie has a few tips: "Do you remember a time when things got a bit kinky and you both really enjoyed it? Or a scene from a film that turned you both on? It might be worth mentioning this as a way to lead into a conversation about this event. That'll give you a safe entry-point, and if your partner is not open to talking about it more, you'll know pretty soon."
However, if you don't have a partner, please don't chicken out. "This workshop is open to singles and couples, and either way you'll have a fun evening. During the Q&A we will talk about different ways to get into the scene - whether that is by attending a munch and meeting people socially, going to a club or attending a workshop. And who knows... you might meet someone sexy there! What better way to pop your kinky cherry?"
Your Kinky Cherry is taking place on Thursday 14th July, 7.30-10.00pm at The Pot in Hackney. Tickets are £12.
Lori Smith is the BitchBuzz Sex & Relationships columnist. She describes her social life these days as "been there, seen it, done it, probably still trying to hide the evidence of it from my mother on Facebook".
Image via Ruth Flickr's photostream.